It's the end of the week and we finish class at noon.
So why don't I feel elated like i would usually feel?
Why don't I jump in the air with my fist punching the sky with a delighted 'whoop!'?
I make my day free to wait for something happen.
but the more I wait, the more mundane it becomes.
I can't expect much from you anymore I know.
To you, I changed saying I'm easily bored.
To me, you easily took my presence for granted.
As long as I was there, no matter what we're doing it's enough for you.
Contentment.
Your contentment frustrates me!
Never did you realize that we have lost all those special days.
Just because we see each other every day,
doesn't mean it should be any less special!
I'm not angry,
I'm not mad'
But I'm sad.
My love for you is overwhelming that it scares me.
I feel that 'happy balloon' almost everytime I see you.
My heart flutters. Tachycardia.
But now, it's not even a steady beat but a stumbling dragging pace.
I dread it knowing that I wait here for something to happen and nothing will.
But your happy balloon doesn't come always.
Maybe you just don't realize it.
Maybe you're just not good at expressing.
Or maybe, just maybe, it's for something else.
Someone else.
Anything else but what you have here with me.
There is the possibility.
I can see it.
I can understand it.
But I can't stand it.
Trapped, suffocated, and claustraphobic.
I can't run away because i have no means to leave.
Literally.
I hate it.
I hate you for not realizing this.
Even if i tell you, you'd dismiss it.
Empty plans.
All of those bullshit.
And yet, here I am.
Waiting for you.
With my hearts crying.....