Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Werewolves.

Ah... I know that this entry is just another one of my fantasies that I know won't come true because my heart belongs to one guy. The one that looks at me like I'm the only person in the room. The one that would smile a smile that lights up his whole face when he scans the room and sees me. The one that calls me everytime he misses me. The one who sends me texts even when he knows i won't or can't reply just to make me smile. The one who would rather sleep on the floor next to me than sleep in another room with a much more comfy bed. Yes, I'm lulcky to say I have somebody like that in my life. Adoring me as I adore him.


But.... This blog is totally fictitious. So what Im about to say isn't necessarily long-lasting.

Ah imagine, you being friends with another HIM because people thought he had a crush on you. He said, "my first impression of you when you walk into that party was... who's that girl?" How should I respond to that? From the beginning it already sounded like there will be a lot of flirting and imaginary relationships. HAHA. Not that I mind because it made hanging out together seem easier. Time passes by as people tease you. You're not affected because coming from a school filled with idiots tend to make you an ignorant person. But you can't help but wonder what he feels about it. Just so that it doesn't get awkward. At the same time, ur falling in love with the guy that ur in love with now. His text messages come in once in awhile because you make a point of seeing him every 31st or end of the month for ice-cream. It works at some level and he helps you with things in school. But eventually you grow apart since life and school gets in the way. Exams pass, holidays go by without you never seeing each other again. But brief texts come from him. Weird texts - just random questions that require your brain to function when answering - and they come at the worst times. So you couldn't actually pay attention to him fully. And he said the text are meant to gain your attention. Then as quickly as it came, the strings of texts are gone. Of course you miss your friend but you know if anything happens you will always have him. Besides, life is going great with your main guy. The sun rises and sets, leaving the moon to glow at night, then loses its beam as the day starts again. In a cycle. His texts gets bolder. more flirting. Every girl loves a little flirt here and there. besides, both of us know our intentions so its harmless. So how do I deal with this?

Friday, November 27, 2009

Oh BaBy yOu sO PreTTy Me LoVe YoU LOnG TimE



na amik kau. Tidur lagi. I deface your alter ego curang blog

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Love from afar.

Finals are coming up. I'm anxious and Mother chose this month to move to another house. I hate this. I can't say anything about it and being the rebellious one, i lied to her saying I'm staying over at a female friend's place to study so that I won't be disturbed by anyone or anything. I can't stand the family obligation and staring eyes from family members when i dissed them about not wanting to do what they ask me.

In truth, I'm staying with my boyfriend. Handsome of a man he is. Yet, my intentions of being here was never innocent.

.............................................

I see him everyday with his long hair swept up cause they always get in the way of his eyes. The intense stare that you gave me when i stepped into the apartment. The hard features just gazing at me as though you were scanning my very brain. But of course you would never look at me that way. You were just talking to a friend of yours. I smiled nonchalantly as though nothing bothered me although your very presence is giving me arrhythmia.

Day by day as i get out of my boyfriend's room, the first thing i see is you. Your table was placed in that way that i had to resist catching a glimpse of you everytime i come out to go to the bathroom. And at times, I see your head come up from your monitor screen to look at me and my heart would burst with speed. You make me feel like headed.

Guilt clings to me knowing that i'm here to see you more than wanting to be with him. I'm sorry baby but I can't help myself. I can only keep this love from afar......

Unless nature takes on its own course.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

A forbidden love.

I know things have been hard for you. I know all the stories that seem to be circulating in school. I know despite your flambouyant act and cheerful smile, you are really hurting on the inside. You, being the strong you, the intelligent and most idiotic, you're a kind-hearted soul and you're a positive one. I have never wanted someone this bad. Just to be able to befriend you would be as good as marrying the best guy there is in the world. I watch you from afar but I guess i really observe you closely. And as the plot thickens you turn your back on all your friends. I don't even know if that is okay. I know they are your grandmother's wishes but please, have some sense.

No matter, everyday i look at you. Around those girls. Your hand carressing their face, the upturned-corner of you mouth they call smile, the dark-violet eyes that look deep into them or to anyone that you talk to. It is the true you but there is also another side of you. From your body language i know that you only have that one girl in your heart. The questions you ask her, the protectiveness, the jealousy. Yet you see it as a family love. Not the love that you have of a man for a woman. At times, its ludicrous to watch you like that. How can you be so dense??

For me, my love for you is forbidden hence i wouldn't pursue it any further. Just the side-obsession that i have will suffice. just by looking at you fair skin, soft face, that cute pointy nose, the silky golden hair that shines that you have to push away from your eyes, your height, stature, and delicate fingers as you play the piano. Ah this is enough for me. I wont be selfish.

But in my dreams, you are real. So for now, I will take my dreams with me. You are impossible to find. If you do exist, i think its impossible for us to be together. I will keep watching you from time to time. And i hope you will progress to the man that you are suppose to be.


Rene Tamaki Richard Grantaine Suou.

Live in Peace.